I don’t know what I’m doing
I don’t know who I am
I’m sending out an SOS
before I make anymore of a mess
I’m on a quest for happiness
and I’m stressed
because I don’t know if I’m going to the pass the test
I don’t mean to be ungrateful
I’m not working right now. My home is a camp bed at my Dad’s
that’s not rock bottom, I know, but it makes me mad
when I’m still, and I can’t make my home my own pad
where I can host with food and crafts, it makes me sad
to have to rely on other people
To not have my own key
I’m no longer a girl, not quite a woman
All I want to do is have fun and if I can
I just want financial independence
repent my sins and become somebody great – I want transcendance!
One half of me wants to leave, run, take the highroad to hell
Burning bridges, fucking, smoking, laughing, embers all we can smell
But there’s a stronger desire for a family home
with little ones, pets, and dinner nights – dancing with love as a spell
that envelopes me, and all those around
I’m frightened that whatever move I make
will take away what I have found.
All I know right now is there should be a balance between what I can give and what I can take
I have no lover, no baby, love is ringing no bells
So the highroad to hell is where I will go
Maybe my love will find me somewhere I’ll never be low
I’ll come back to settle here
Suffolk is my home
but if I remain all I’ll want is love, a family, and no one’s gonna give this dog that bone
employment hasn’t come quick enough for me to make my own home
one was suggested that was perfect but money is always the cause of my moans
and being stuck, out of control, is my current fear
I’m frightened of where I’ll end up if I take this risk
but I trust that the world will light my way
unless it already did, in which case that sign I missed
I don’t have a concrete plan, but if I stay I’ll start to wind
the people I love the most up, and that just isn’t kind.
Choose happiness they said. Happiness seems to be loneliness
and I just either need to nest or run. There’s no mess in the middle
I have no responsibilities, so my highway to hell is to have some bloody fun.
Help me from myself. I just don’t want to run.
Instead I’ll trundle onwards. My destination unknown.