Help me.

I don’t know what I’m doing

I don’t know who I am

I’m sending out an SOS

before I make anymore of a mess

You see

I’m on a quest for happiness

and I’m stressed

because I don’t know if I’m going to the pass the test

I don’t mean to be ungrateful

I’m not working right now. My home is a camp bed at my Dad’s

that’s not rock bottom, I know, but it makes me mad

when I’m still, and I can’t make my home my own pad

where I can host with food and crafts, it makes me sad

to have to rely on other people

To not have my own key

I’m no longer a girl, not quite a woman

All I want to do is have fun and if I can

I just want financial independence

repent my sins and become somebody great – I want transcendance!

One half of me wants to leave, run, take the highroad to hell

Burning bridges, fucking, smoking, laughing, embers all we can smell

But there’s a stronger desire for a family home

with little ones, pets, and dinner nights – dancing with love as a spell

that envelopes me, and all those around

I’m frightened that whatever move I make

will take away what I have found.

All I know right now is there should be a balance between what I can give and what I can take

I have no lover, no baby, love is ringing no bells

So the highroad to hell is where I will go

Maybe my love will find me somewhere I’ll never be low

I’ll come back to settle here

Suffolk is my home

but if I remain all I’ll want is love, a family, and no one’s gonna give this dog that bone

employment hasn’t come quick enough for me to make my own home

one was suggested that was perfect but money is always the cause of my moans

and being stuck, out of control, is my current fear

I’m frightened of where I’ll end up if I take this risk

but I trust that the world will light my way

unless it already did, in which case that sign I missed

I don’t have a concrete plan, but if I stay I’ll start to wind

the people I love the most up, and that just isn’t kind.

Choose happiness they said. Happiness seems to be loneliness

and I just either need to nest or run. There’s no mess in the middle

I have no responsibilities, so my highway to hell is to have some bloody fun.

Help me from myself. I just don’t want to run.

Instead I’ll trundle onwards. My destination unknown.

 

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